


P.S. I Love You

by Bolontiku



Series: P.S.I Love You [1]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:00:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26072305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bolontiku/pseuds/Bolontiku
Summary: Friendship, secret love confessions, cake, meddling Avengers, what's not to love?
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, bucky x reader - Relationship
Series: P.S.I Love You [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1892740
Comments: 7
Kudos: 36





	1. Chapter 1

"What exactly are we doing here?"

You rolled your eyes as you made your way through the supermarket, "listen, payday is still three days away and right now I want cake. So, I called and ordered one this morning."

Bucky grumbled as he followed behind you. "Then you dragged me out here to pay for your cake?"

You glanced over your shoulder with impatience. "No," you dragged the word out with another eyeroll. "Free cake!"

Bucky frowned as he came to a stop beside you. "Free cake? You just said you were broke-"

You smiled as a clerk came over, "hi!" You cheerfully smiled wrapping your arm around his, "I- **_WE_ ** are here to pick up the samples of wedding cakes?" 

"What was the last name?"

"Barnes, well- soon to be Barnes," you frowned, "I will soon be Barnes!"

Bucky opened his mouth and you squeezed his arm. "Yes, she definitely has plans on being a Barnes."

The clerk smiled, grinning from ear to ear and stepped away.

You let his arm go and moved along the counter, going on about how delicious it all looked as you leaned down to get a closer look. Bucky stifled a laugh, he was sure you just drooled on the glass. Bucky stared at you, "so, when did I pop the question?"

"Three weeks ago."

"Were you surprised?"

You looked thoughtful as you turned to look at him, "I was, though I kinda had an idea that you were going to ask, you can't really hide things from me or Steve ya know?"

"So, Steve told ya?"

You smiled, hands clasped behind your back, "you took me to that italian place? With the cannoli? Our song was playing-"

"We have a song?" he asked barely containing a smile as he stepped close enough to you that you had to tip your head back.

You nodded crossing your arms over your chest with a smirk, you stance telling him you were in no way intimidated with him being so close, "so, I figured something was up but wasn't sure. But I wore that dress you like, the dark blue one? And the earrings you got me."

"Ya looked swell doll," he liked the way you blushed even if you were making up the story.

"Here you are," the clerk hummed, interrupting as she came back and you cheered bouncing towards her. The boxes were tiny and there were only two, but you took them promising to come back with more questions. Pausing and asking if the wedding topper was for sale.

**

Bucky sat on the floor, ignoring the easy way you had your leg thrown over his broad shoulder as an explosion of flavor distracted him. “What was this?”

You looked over his shoulder and grinned, “that is the sacher torte, it would do well for the groom's cake.”

Bucky grunted as you set your empty plate down, “so they just give cake away?”

You hummed, eyes closing as your sweet tooth had been sated, your half of the sacher had been inhaled and the other half of white cake and strawberry filling had been polished off moments ago. “I bought the topper…” Sighing heavily you nodded, “the samples are small.”

“Boyfriend getting serious?” you snorted and he looked over his shoulder at you.

“He broke up with me.” He managed to keep his face neutral, but his heart did a little flip as he set his plate down, “don’t get super excited there Buckaroo! Now you have to marry me.”

He did snort then, “is he stupid? No, I know, he realized he wasn’t good enough for you.”

You laughed, “you have to say that since you're my best friend,” he frowned as your bottom lip quivered, “it’s fine. It’s stupid, I just wanted some cake okay?”

Bucky slipped up onto the couch, the TV kept playing the movie you had flipped on and he was careful to tug your leg off his shoulder, pulling both of your feet into his lap. “He’s stupid.”

“He is  _ not _ stupid cause he was just using me till he got back with his ex-girlfriend. I was… just a placeholder.” You toyed with the edge of your shirt, taking in a deep breath, ignoring the way his strong fingers gripped your feet, thumbs pressing into the bottom of them, ignoring the tingles it sent up your legs and… “Anyways, I’ve always said love isn’t for me.”

“You said he was just fun.”

“He was, I wasn’t waiting for...anything. It was just- a way to pass the time.”

“But you sound upset.”

“You are talking too much.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow, “you’re not talking enough.”

You kicked his hand and grabbed the throw, tugging it around your shoulders. “Shut up, I can’t hear the movie.” He chuckled quietly, big hands falling on your shins. “Don’t make me call Tony.”

“Why would you call Tony?”

“He’s my friend.”

“So?”

“So? I met him first.”

“But you like me better,” he grinned at you.

You narrowed your eyes and reached for your cell phone.

Bucky followed, grabbing your wrist and shifting so you had to move forwards as he slipped up behind you on your tiny couch. Thick strong arms wrapping around you, “yeah, yeah, bitch, bitch, whine, whine,” he grumbled as you did just that, yelping as he tugged at the throw. “Why is your apartment so cold anyhow?!”

“So, that it's cold enough to need a cover duh!”

“What are we watching? Who is that chick?”

“It’s ‘P.S, I LOVE YOU’ and shut up, Tony would bring face masks and ice cream, so no grumbling!”

Bucky rolled his eyes, laughed when you smacked his thigh, which he had wrapped around yours and settled in. He knew you well enough that he knew when you sniffled he had to ignore it, instead he buried his face in the crook of your neck, ignoring the way you hid your face in the couch pillows. He hated this, the way you cried, the way you talked as if love didn’t exist for you.

He always waited too long it seemed, you’d go through a break up and before he could say anything you’d find what you dubbed ‘your latest toy’.

“Y/N?” he moved carefully, peeking to confirm you’d fallen asleep. You looked so soft, brows furrowing in your sleep. Bucky froze as you grumbled in your sleep, turning fitfully until you faced him, your hands on his chest. Carefully he brushed a strand of hair from your face, leaning in slowly to press a kiss to your lips. 

He could say it now, now that you were asleep, it was okay. 

Still, as he pulled away ever so slightly he found himself whispering, "P.S. I love you."


	2. Chapter 2

There was laughter. 

It broke through the fog of dark sleep and you hummed shifting. A hand fell across your collarbone and curled around the back of your neck, diving into the hair at the base of your neck, tugging you back down and keeping you from sitting up.

"Lis-LISTEN!" Bucky laughed loudly, Steve you could hear denying and 'no,no, no-ing' whatever Bucky was trying to say. You curled onto your side, face burying into his abdomen, they could get so loud. "LISTEN- EVEN WHEN WE WERE WITH THE HOWLIES! Did he ever tell ya bout the time Dugan stole his clothes?!"

You snorted in your spot, you couldn't remember just when you had fallen asleep, but it didn't surprise you that it was Bucky's lap your head had fallen into. Warm fingers buried themselves into your hair, gently scratching at the back of your head as Sam guffawed and Steve

threatened to impale him if he went on. This prompted Bucky to fall back on the cushions of the sofa, jostling you. 

You frowned, sitting up, Bucky’s fingers slipping from your hair.

"Morning sunshine." Sam. 

"What? Time?" you managed two words.

Sam chuckled as Bucky dropped his hand to your lower back. "-sssss, shit, its three-thirteen."

"We can still have a couple more drinks, no missions," Steve said.

"The night is gone, but the morning sun shall greet us soon!" Thor boomed. 

"Perhaps for you brother, but it looks as if a midgardian fae needs her rest."

You blearingly stared at Loki's hand before reaching out and grasping it. The tall Asgardian prince easily tugged you to your feet and caught your elbow in hand. "You shall stay here at the compound for the night," he hummed.

Sam coughed looking pointedly at Bucky who ignored both him and Loki. 

You reached out and ruffled his hair, "night pillow."

"Don't forget to brush before you fall into bed, ya hate that!" He reminded you reaching up to squeeze your hand quickly. 

"C'mon man!" Sam cried out as you let Loki lead you towards the hall. 

Bucky smiled, "we hadn't seen a bath in over a week, not to mention-"

You shook your head with a yawn as Loki led you away, their voices drowning out the further you walked. 

"Y/N?"

You hummed softly, lifting your head to look at Loki. "Sup?" you asked with a slightly too large smile, you liked to boast a good game, but there was no joke when it came to drinking with super soldiers and gods. You had tapped out before Sam had even started flirting with you. The corner of his lips quirked up at your query, Loki had found that he liked having you around. You were quiet, yet loud. Tender, yet strong. It was always something new and different with you. "What do you think of the sergeant?"

"Bucky?" You yawned again as he waved his hand, the door opening in front of you and as you blinked owlishly, you had missed the small trek to the bathroom somehow, but you ignored it as Loki leaned against the doorframe and grabbed a toothbrush without thinking. Loki stopped as you tumbled into bed and sighed, "Bucky is the best!" You murmured from under the covers, it was quickly followed with a soft snore. He smiled softly and with a little bit of magic made sure you were comfortable, your boots appearing under the bed, clothing piled onto the small chair in the corner of the room.

Loki wondered where Tony had found you, now that he thought of it he was unsure what your job title was here at the compound. 'Jack-of-all-trades', Tony had dubbed you, you seemed to have a hand in everything. From helping Tony with his tech, to Bruce in the labs, Pepper with the paperwork and every so often stepping in with Natasha on the sparring mat. 

Loki stared at you as you slept and felt a tinge of something as he looked around the room. You had embedded yourself quite firmly in the hearts of the other Avengers and he had become somewhat fond of you as you joined him in his quiet solitude in the library or with Thor, either playing the buffer he needed with his sibling or jumping in on his brother's playfulness, which he had to admit was needed. 

The sergeant had better not ruin this.

**

Sam threw the closest thing at Bucky as soon as he continued with his story. "C'mon man! You really gonna not make a move on that?!"

Bucky had ducked under the small pillow, laughing. "What?!" he laughed, feeling heat color his cheeks, Thor chuckling as he refilled his cup.

Sam sighed, shaking his head, one hand running along his forehead and to the back of his neck. “You really are stupid man, that girl loves you.”

Bucky stared at him incredulously, glancing at Steve who looked smug and at Thor who laughed heartily. “What are you talking about?! Y/N is like a little sister to me!” he scoffed, tossing back his drink.

Steve groaned loudly and Sam threw his hands up. Bucky swallowed what was in his cup and Thor refilled it, grinning as Bucky emptied it just as quickly. James Barnes was fooling no one, not especially present company.

The blond God, refilled the sergeant’s cup with the Asgardian drink he kept just for nights like this one. “Then,” Thor clapped him on his shoulder, “you will not mind if I ask for her attention?”

Bucky nearly got whiplash as he looked at Thor, mouth dropping open and sapping shut as his vision blurred. “A-att-attention?”

Sam glanced at Steve who quietented, Thor nodded.

Bucky scoffed, downing the cup, “No! If… if Y/N is-would-interested in you, then that’s her decision. Why would I?”

“You said you thought of her as a little sister, that kind of friendship is not to be trampled upon, I would not proceed without your permission my friend.”

Bucky stared at Thor for a long moment, “I’m calling it a night-” he shook his head, grumbling under his breath and wavering as he stood.

Steve stood quickly catching his elbow and letting Bucky pull away. There was no real danger of damage on the short walk to their rooms from here. “You really gonna ask Y/N out Thor?”

“I have real interest in the lady, I thought perhaps there was something more there, but I will not wait if the sergeant is not interested in proceeding. If she decides to choose me, then I will treat her right and fairly. I would like to see if we could have something.”

Sam raised his eyebrows and laughed softly, “I had no idea man.”

“Same,” Steve said.

Thor grinned. “Then I have comported myself as a gentleman!”

**

Your sleep was interrupted when the bed jolted beneath you, by the man falling into bed beside you. You snickered as Bucky groaned, turning to look at you, “hey..”

Bucky grinned at you, “you,” he pressed a finger to your nose, “are perfect.”

“You are drunk.”

Bucky shrugged, “doesn’t change that you are perfect… and you’re drunk,” he grinned, “and you’re my best friend.”

You swallowed, heart suddenly loud in your own ears. Bucky shifted, crawling under the covers and grunting loudly. “You’re mine too,” he smirked at you, fingers seeking yours and dragging your hand into his hair. “You are such a baby!!” you cried, but sank your fingers into his hair, your heart mimicked the way his eyes fluttered as he groaned softly.

“So? Baby me?” he pouted at you.

You snickered, still you continued to run your fingers into his hair, marveling at how soft it was even after a night of drinking. His smile softened, breathing evening out, you watched silently, your fingers sweeping long dark locks back and away from his face as he slipped into deep slumber. 

“Bucky?” he didn’t move, you scooted closer, pressing into him. Tugging his arm around you so that you could scoot closer still, “Bucky?” you tried again after he had stilled. It took a few more seconds, to make sure he was really asleep before you quietly whispered, “P.S. I love you.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> friends fight, people get a little physical, arguing

Tony chuckled, Loki was in the corner, settled in Tony's plush roll around chair. He had sniffed in feigned arrogance, you all knew he could wave a hand and have whatever he wanted, but had sat down quickly crossing his long legs in front of him and utterly becoming lost in the book he had brought with him.

"Listen up kiddo," Tony caught your attention, pointing at the monstrosity in front of him, "highly experimental, not sure if it's gonna work, but I need your hand here while I-" he pursed his lips together when you gave him a look. "The thing, that one, and you will twist the doo-hickey three times towards me, got it?"

You nodded with a smile as he placed your hand where he wanted it. You never really understood what he was making, but you readily gave your help when he needed it. And you trusted him to not let you blow up.

"I have been meaning to ask Stark," Loki spoke up from his spot making you jump. Sometimes he was too quiet, "what exactly does Y/N get paid to do?"

Tony didn't look up or flinch, "mascot."

That made you pause, "that's warm," you hummed looking into the doo-hickey. 

"Yeah, give me a second," he answered distractedly as you shifted in your spot on the lab table next to said doo-hickey. "Twist now," you did, a bit too slow apparently and picking up speed as he nodded impatiently at you. 

"Mascot?" You asked.

"Yeah, we needed someone that could connect with everyone at a personal level, actually-" he huffed brows drawing together as you kept your hand inside the metal cylinder, "what is it doing?" He muttered to himself, brows drawing together, "I didn't think you'd last this long-TAKE YOUR HAND OUT NOW!!"

You tumbled backwards off the top of the table and into air, helped by a quick hard shove from Tony, eyes squeezing shut as a little peep escaped you. A second later when you didn’t crash to the ground you peeked an eye open. 

Tony was stood back, hands up in front of himself and you were wrapped up in large thick arms, Loki looked as angry as ever. Which was a little difficult to discern from his eyebrow raised cause he got plain black coffee instead of tea look. 

This all of course you peeked around a wall of chest and arms. Large, thick arms; one cold, one warm and a chest that you knew, oh so well, cologne that always made your heart skip slightly. "Buck? I think.. You can let me go?"

He swore that you were able to hear his heart thundering. He had come in just as Tony screamed, in time to see him shove you from whatever it was you’d had your hand in. He had moved, pure instinct, wrapping himself around you as he caught you, even as Loki contained and made the overheated cylinder disappear.

“Always handy to have you around,” Tony heaved a breath. He backed up as Bucky let you go, turning on him, “woah!!”

You threw your arms around Bucky’s waist as he caught Tony by the throat, “BUCKY!!” your converse squeaked across the floor as Bucky advanced.

“What do you think you're doing?!” he demanded, “you could have killed her!” he bit out, teeth flashing.

You tugged at him, surprised when Loki laid a hand on your shoulder. “Bucky…”

Tony sucked in a breath when Bucky released him, hand rubbing at his reddening throat, “it wasn’t intentional, I’d never-”

Bucky shook his head, “I know.”

The room fell into an awkward silence, Bucky doing his best not to look at you once you released him.

“Is there something amiss?”

“Thank god!” Tony exhaled, hands thrown up as Thor entered. 

You licked your lips, stepping away from Bucky, feelings tumbling too and fro inside of you. What the fuck had that been? 

Thor stepped in, eyes darting back and forth, he huffed when he met Loki’s gaze quickly stepping to you and grabbing your hand, gently pulling you from beside Bucky. “I have been looking for you.”

“Oh?” you asked, looking up at him, “I’m sorry, is there something I can help you with?”

“You are shaking,” he dipped his head to stare at you, “what has happened?”

You chuckled, shaking your head, clenching your hands even as his large ones enveloped yours. Loki spoke up, “there was a near accident, nothing that I could not take care of,” he looked at Tony and Bucky, “correct?” both men nodded, Tony toying with a bit of wiring and looking guilty as Bucky struggled to keep from growling.

“Is there…” you looked at the two before looking back at Thor, “something you needed? Ahh,” you shook your head, “I’m sorry!”

Thor shook his head, “I- are you alright?”

You laughed, freeing a hand and waving it around. “Shit happens right? It’s fine! Tell me, help me distract my mind, what can I help you with?”

Thor cleared his throat, “perhaps you are right. I was seeking you to ask for your attention.” Thor smiled as you tilted your head to the side, brows drawing together in confusion. You were so cute.

“Ah, yeah, sure?” you answered, wondering exactly what he needed help with. You hadn’t really helped him with anything and your eyes widened as you realized you had possibly just agreed to maybe go off world and the implications of that made your head swim. “Thor-”

His smile nearly cracked his face, Thor caught your chin in between his thumb and forefinger, tipping your head back and pressing his lips to yours. Tony slapped a hand over his mouth, attempting to be casual, Loki full on glaring. 

Bucky knew he had no right. He had no right, of course he didn’t, he reminded himself as he watched you grip Thor’s forearms in your hands. Those small hands that always found their way into his hair, the way they felt when you squeezed the back of his neck. Fingers tickling the palm of his hand before you tangled your fingers with his briefly to smile up at him. 

Thor’s kiss was unexpected, you reached up gripping his thick arms, wondering why, why it didn’t take your breath away? Anyone would be lucky to be in your position, anyone would be happy to be kissed by Thor. 

A hand wrapped around your upper arm and you were yanked away from under Thor’s attention. Oh, now you understood. Still, your feet barely touched the ground as you saw it was Bucky tugging you behind him, moving at too quick a pace. You stumbled, reaching up to grip onto his shirt, “Bucky?!” you hopped to keep pace with him, shoulder beginning to ache before you found yourself in the elevator and the doors closed behind you. “What are you doing?” you asked, rubbing your shoulder.

“You let him kiss you?!”

His voice was so quiet you almost leaned forward, but you didn’t, instead opting to step back, leaning into the cool metal wall. A nervous chuckle escaping you, “Bucky, I didn’t kiss him.”

“You let him kiss you.”

“I didn’t have a choice in the matter.”

“You always-”

You were taken aback by that, “I always..?”

He turned to you, hands running into his hair. “You didn’t want him to kiss you?”

You blinked, “I- that, it wasn’t my idea.”

"But you liked it?" Bucky huffed as the doors opened and he glared at you a moment, “forget it.”

You watched him step off, heading for the kitchen, you jumped off the elevator before the door shut and hurried after him, “wait, what does that mean?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“What doesn’t matter?” you asked, watching as he started the coffee maker, “Bucky?!”

“Kiss whoever you want okay?” Bucky threw over his shoulder, gripping the counter in his hands.

You bit your bottom lip, taken aback, “I didn’t ask him to kiss me!”

“But ya sure gave him your attention! You always do that, so quick to jump in the sack with whoever gives you the slightest bit of attention and label them your newest toy, is that it? Ya gonna make Thor your new toy?!” he growled, turning to glare at you, anger forcing the words out. The look on your face when he looked at you, he wanted the words back. “Y/N-”

You whimpered, stepping back. You had hoped… maybe he had been jealous? But no, it wasn’t about that. “So, I’m just a slut to you?”

“That’s not-” he shoved a hand through his thick hair and stepped towards you.

You backed up, jerking away from his touch, “anyone else has a healthy sex life and it’s fine, I’m sure you don’t go calling or implying that Natasha or Maria are sluts, but me? I go and get laid just like anyone else and I’m a slut, I’m easy? That's the way you see me?”

“I didn’t call ya a slut-”

“You’ve made it perfectly clear what you think of me! You don't have to name it when you're heavily implying it!” you bit out turning on your heel, fisting your hands to keep them from shaking. Too much happening all at once, you needed to get out and breathe.

Bucky growled as you backed out and he bolted right after you, the elevator opening and Tony looking up in surprise as you shoved past him. Bucky surprised him as he caught the doors, “Y/N, that’s not what I meant and you know it!”

You shoved at him, flustered and hurt, your stomach turning in knots, “it's what you said and if you're saying it then you somehow mean it!"

“Hey now!” Tony stepped in, hand on Bucky’s shoulder as you sniffled, biting back the urge to cry, “c’mon, let’s calm down and talk it through you two-”

"Please Tony?" 

He wasn't sure what was going on, but the crack in your voice as you hid behind your hands, backing further into the elevator as Bucky tried to push in, he knew that look. You needed space. "Back off Bucky."

"Tony!" He looked at the man incredulously, letting Tony push him back. "No- Y/N! Christ ya make me so mad!" He shouted, "ya make me wanna pull my hair out! YOU HEAR ME Y/N?! I'M GONNA GO BALD CAUSE OF YA!" 

You glared at him, "THEN GO BALD!! I DON’T CARE! I HATE YOU!"

"No ya don't!" He shot back as your bottom lip wavered, eyes watering, "ya don't! You love me" he pointed at you.

"You don't know that!" But it was scary, you were scared, cause he didn't know how close he was to the truth. "BALDY!!"

Bucky shook his head even as Tony wrapped his arms around his waist, "you love me and ya know it doll! SAY IT!  _ SAY IT Y/N!!!" _ he shouted making you jump.

"Back off Bucky!" Tony shoved at him in earnest as you turned away from them, arms wrapping around yourself. The doors shut, "she needs time, I'm not sure what's going on, but you'll do more damage now if you keep talking." Tony pressed him back towards the kitchen, "c'mon, lets chat."

Bucky felt a stone settle in his gut. "She didn't…"

Tony glanced at him, turning and really looking at Bucky as he sat down dejected. "What?"

"She didn't say it."

*

Alone in the elevator you let a sob slip, "I don't…" a hiccup hurt your chest, tears wetting your face. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pretty happy with this so imma leave it here, thank you for reading!!

The flush of the toilet filled the bathroom, your apartment was compact as Bucky and Tony said constantly, but it was all you needed. You splashed water on your face grabbing a towel and slowly making your way back into your room. 

You couldn’t stop replaying the fight that had happened not but an hour ago. 

Plopping into bed with the towel to your face you replayed it again, where had you gone wrong? Why had you said that? 

Your tummy hurt, turning over and shifting into knots. Bucky’s angry loud tone reverberating in your mind. He must hate you by now. After you had said that. He wouldn’t want to see you anymore, thinking about it made your eyes burn and a pain began to build between your temples. You sucked in a shaky breath. You shouldn’t have let Thor kiss you, you just hadn’t understood what he had meant. If you hadn’t been so dense and understood then maybe the fight wouldn’t have happened? You couldn’t stop replaying the entire thing over, what could you have done differently??

A little whimper left you as you buried your face into the towel, curling into a small ball in the middle of your bed. Bucky thought the worst of you and it was your fault really. Even if logically you knew you were right.

**

Bucky stared at the cool white of the elevator. Muzak played and he remembered the first time he had come over, joking about it and making you laugh. It had been the way you looked up at him, laughter spilling from you, smile wide and you were so soft pressing against him as you gripped his arm and pressed your cheek against him.

It had been that moment. 

It had taken a second to change and he knew he couldn't go back. He could only pretend that it hadn't changed anything. Because even if he knew you'd say differently he couldn't hope you could love him anymore than a friend. Right?

_ 'I HATE YOU _ '

He stared at your door, your words reverberating through his skull. He couldn't leave it like this, Tony had told him to leave you alone for a day or so, let things calm down, but that wasn't an option. Bucky knew you, you'd make a decision and end up in India if he left you alone. Not that he wouldn't find you, but if he moved fast enough he could keep you from running right off the bat. 

He reached up, fingers playing along the top of your doorframe, shaking his head when he caught the little metal piece, he had given you a lecture about hiding your spare key there. 

' _ What am I supposed to do? Get a fake rock? _ ' You had asked stomping your feet on the cool tile outside your door for emphasis. And there it had been again, that smile, you stared at him, shaking your head as you opened the door. ' _ I was only telling you where it was for emergencies. _ '

' _ Emergencies? _ '

_ 'In case I fall and break a hip, I need someone to come save me! _ '

' _ Doll, that's my line…you're more of a spring chicken. _ '

Your laughter echoed in his mind as he shut the door behind him, your apartment uncharacteristically quiet. He was used to finding it lit up, candles scenting the air or all the lights turned on. Music playing as loud as you dared to without having the neighbors complain or the TV set with that anatomy show playing. 

He almost left sure that you weren't home, but instead made his way to your room. Taking a slow breath to calm his nerves as he heard a sniffle. You were crying because of him. The look on your face as he shouted at you, the way you flinched, the memory enough to make him turn, ready to leave.

"Bucky?"

You should have been scared, the door to your apartment opening and shutting. Still, you buried yourself under your covers and waited. It could be only one person really. You tracked his silent steps, not really hearing them, but more of guessing. You knew Bucky, knew his gait and how many steps it took to get him to your room, and when he didn't come in it perplexed you. Maybe you had imagined it? Maybe you had been hoping too hard? So, you called out to him, if you had imagined him you were alone, no one would hear you.

The door opened quietly as you broke into a sob, sure it had been your imagination. You peeked over the towel in time to see his dark frame crouching over the edge of the bed. 

Bucky listened as you stifled a sob, unable to listen any further he pushed in under the covers gently, moving quickly and climbing into the bed with you. He wrapped you up in his arms as you continued to cry. "I'm sorry Y/N," he said, breathing the words into your ear as he pressed closer to you. 

"I could leave?"

He tutted at you, "don't be stupid."

You turned in his arms, pressing your face into his neck, fingers toying with his collar. "Do you hate me?"

"I said don't be stupid."

"You were so angry"

Bucky shifted, your fingers played across his collarbone and distracted him. "Uh, duh, you let some other guy kiss ya. Why do you think I got so angry?" He let the silence fill the air, listening to your breathing skip as you thought about his words. He wasn't gonna make it easy on you, you had to know, had to say it. 

You kicked at his feet, toes pressing against the top of his boots, "boots."

He heaved a sigh, kicking them off and listening as they thudded against the carpet. Your lips on his neck shocked him. "I don't."

Bucky closed his eyes, "don't?"

"I don't hate you," you answered after a moment. "You drive me crazy and make me wanna hit you"

Bucky dragged you closer, grumbling as you shifted, legs tangling with his. "Why do ya think that is?"

"Stop being mean."

"I'm not."

"I love you jerk"

Bucky held still, it was different. This wasn't one of those times where those words were thrown out casually. No, this was whispered into the dark, a quiet and honest confession. "Fuck," he growled dipping his head, lips connecting with your nose. "Dammit hold still!" The little noise you made was quietened beneath his lips, yours soft and pliant against his. Bucky nearly lost it as you pressed closer to him, a little whine making its way up your throat. God he could devour you in that moment, "Y/N.."

You pressed closer, slipping your arms around his waist, he had to shift a little, lifting so that you could wriggle an arm in under him, but you pressed your face against his chest, tucking your head in under his chin. “Please don’t talk?”

Bucky hummed softly, tugging you in closer, “love you more.” He heard your relieved gasp, in the morning everything would be better and could be sorted out. Right now he needed to be here with you and that was all. 


End file.
